February 23, 2008

15 months

Dear Gina,

we had our 1-month anniversary on Tuesday, and our 6-month friendship anniversary on Thursday. But in fact I have been looking for you for 15 months now!

The first 6 months, I did not even know I was looking for you. I wandered around, stunned by the constant wonders of Second Life. I found friends during that time, some of them became close friends, others disappeared again. But I walked the digital paths aimlessly, feeling deep inside something was missing, but not realizing, and not admitting to myself that it was you that was missing.

At the beginning of the second six months, realization about what was missing hit me like a brick wall. But I started to look in the wrong places, started to walk down the wrong streets, resulting my soul being beaten up and mugged in dark corners. Somehwhere during that time I met you, but I was blind and didn't realize it was you I was looking for. And even had it occurred to me, you would have been off-limits in a double way. But I was not ready yet for you anyways. I kept looking, kept being hurt, but each blow my soul got was a preparation to finally find you.

Realization dawned in the beginning of the last 3 months. Being done with romance after my third painful experience, I was attracted to your mind, your soul and your creativity. And even though you had resolved your previous partnership, for obvious reasons you were still out of reach for me, so I was free and open to concentrate on your personality. And I liked what I found. And slowly I realized emotions beyond friendship to form. Those three months were the most confusing, most doubtful, but also most happy ones I had in SL up to then. And each day we got closer, each day we admitted our emotions and feelings more, was a gift. Finally we admitted our love towards each other, and 4 weeks ago you gave me the biggest gift ever, and accepted to become my partner in SL.

We are married for one month now, and I don't regret a single day. On some days we only see each other for 5 minutes, on other days we spend several hours together. We found ways to keep in touch outside of SL. We got even more close in those past weeks, deliberately, yet cautiously opening firewalls. Admitting to each other that we both have our crosses to carry made us stronger. Each of us helps and supports the other when issues occur. We distract and support us, whatever is needed in that moment. We have a sane respect for our lives outside of SL, and have the same approach on dealing with things. We draw strength from each other, love and understanding. We understand - even without words.

Thank you, Gina, for daring to go with me on this journey. I am looking forward to the next 4 weeks, the next 4 months, the next 4 years. I will be yours until they switch the servers off - and beyond!

I love you, Gina!
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