My Second Life falls apart around me. People I feel very close to drop away, take announced or unannounced breaks, log in less and less, ponder the sense of it all, seem tired, worn out, desillusioned. Consider coming at all anymore, or play with the thought of starting over. And leave me scared. Scared to be alone. Scared to be left behind. Scared.... to be not loved. Not worthy. Not important to them.I feel like drowning, like treading water, like reaching out for a straw of normality. I reach out for an illusion of normality, pretending to myself it'll all work out, dreaming and hoping and wishing that it will all be the same again. But I feel the world dissolve around me. I am scared. So scared.
Sometimes I wish I was a loner. Not needing other people. Doing my thing. Sometimes I wish I was a cynic, my heart shielded by bitterness, my soul hardened by mistrust. Sometimes I wish I could keep a distance.
But I can't. I am who I am. I need people. I need closeness. I need love.
Don't forget about me. Don't leave me here alone. Please. Don't. Please.
9 comments:
/me hits you really hard in the shoulder.
SL isn't the best place to be afraid of change, even if in a way, it is too cyclic to say it changes too much.
People gets tired or overwhelmed, take a rest, come back. Maybe they not always come back, but they always, always, stay with us in our hearts.
So stop worrying and start enjoying what you have, or next time I will use my steel knuckles .-p
*hugs Peter*
I know what you're talking about - I've often looked at my friends list and felt pangs of sadness over the many names of good and much-missed friends who don't log into SL anymore, or only once in a blue moon...
On the other hand, there are also some names of friends who disappeared and came back, of new friends I've made, and of some friends who've been around constantly for most of my Second Life.
And knowing you, and knowing what a generous and warm-hearted person you are, how intelligent and how much fun to be around, I'm pretty confident that you're not going to be lacking in friends.
I guess we are going through a similar strait yet my friend acknowledged her leaving and that made all the difference, Peter. Like London says, SL is such a stewpot of creativity, change is the norm, not the exception. this has made me look at my friends list and wonder who di I drop and unwittingly perform a Big Quiet on? And I also took comfort in contacting someone with whom I hadn't chatted and found her just as interesting and involved ... a great comfort. And she was more than glad I reached out and said hi.
I think we all go through this, as part of the normal ebb and flow of second life, good times, bad times, happy times, sad times.. its all part of the experience. It is so strange, considering the sheer population, that there are times when we feel totally alone.
Yeah many of my original core group of friends rarely log in now. I get where you are coming from.
I can say the same thing. :(
Seems really easy for people to leave without batting an eye. I hope you don't feel like you're not worthy or important. The nature of Second Life just makes it so convenient and easy for people to leave when they want to. And I definitely don't think they left because you don't deserve to be loved.
Peter, I love you and you are one of my closest friends... I know it must seem like everything has changed because of recent events, but you are still important to me. In fact I worry about you, and I deeply want for you to find peace and happiness. *hugs you tightly*
Its funny, in a way, that your comments reflect how I feel during rolling restarts. That is about the only time I see folks I've known "forever" ... they come to the Isle of Lesbos when their region restarts, only to find me standing right where they last saw me. I guess I should get out more. Go see their regions. Visit other places. Maybe you should get out more, too, Peter.
Now buck up before I have to whap you one :::loads extra feathers in a big pillow:::
/me hugs you really tight. (You can't get away.)
And I like your glasses.
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