Imagine growing up with the permanent feeling something is wrong. Imagine feeling more and more alienated by what role society has in stock for you. Imagine feeling your body change during puberty in a way that not only confuses you (we all have that), but in a way that repels you, that feels utterly wrong. Imagine the shocking moment when you finally realize you are trapped in a body that is not yours. Imagine admitting this to your best friend, your sibling, your parents. When you think "Mom, I'm gay" is bad, try to imagine how it feels to say "Mom, I'm a woman inside".
People who experience this are not sick perverts or demented. People who experience this and still live - the (teenage-)suicide rate among this group is shockingly high - are facing obstacles us "normal" people can't even imagine. Maybe you have read reports about illiterate people, and how they live a life of humiliation, shame and hiding/pretending. This gives you a little idea what a person growing up and living in the wrong body has to endure.
Second Life attracts these transgendered people. The road they need to take in the atomic world is a tough, hard and long one. In Second Life, they find a breathing space and some peace, and can be who they feel they really are. In Second Life they find other transgendered people, they find advice, they find community, they find resources. I doubt there are statistics about it, but I guess a transgendered person probably is at a much lower risk of committing suicide once they have found SL as their safe haven.I am blessed with the friendship of 4 transgendered people in Second Life. While only one of them openly states it on the profile, the others came out to me after building and fostering the friendship for a long time, building trust until - without any need or force - they told me this intimate fact about themselves. The stories they told about their teenage days, about the trouble they faced with their families, about being torn between keeping up the appearances and not being able to live with the situation anymore sent chills down my spine. One of them had sex reassignment surgery (SRS) performed many decades ago. Another faces SRS in the immediate future and the last two have no plans for SRS yet.
All of them have fairly conservative views on sexuality and feel offended by pornography and share the view that SL at large is pretty much oversexed. To them, the current message when accessing mature content on XStreet SL, is a slap into their faces:
You are about to be redirected to Xstreet SL Uncensored.
The adult content within this site is intended for ADULTS ONLY (18 years of age or older). If you are not of legal age or do not wish to view materials of a sexually-explicit nature or you are offended by transgender images or topics, then please click CANCEL now.
I am not going as far as to claim that Xstreet SL meant this message as a deliberate insult to transgendered people. But it is the same thoughtless discrimination we face so often in the atomic world. "If you are not of legal age or do not wish to view materials of a sexually explicit nature" would have been more than enough to bring the point across. Instead, whoever wrote this added the reference to transgenders and thereby lumped the whole transgender community together with pornography and sexually explicit material, tarring them with the same brush.
Yes, there is a thriving community in Second Life built around the idea of sexual activities involving hermaphroditic people and anthropomorphic creatures (Shemales, Futanari), or the ideas of of androgynity, flowing gender boundaries or a (in some Asian cultures mythical) 3rd gender (Ladyboys). The vast majority of the people active in those communities have no gender issues in the atomic world. It is likely that Linden Lab had this group in mind when they phrased that unfortunate disclaimer, but by doing so, they discriminated and insulted the first group, the transgendered members of our society.
There is an entry on the bug tracking system (JIRA) where you can vote to have the XStreet SL message changed. I urge you to cast your vote there. Do it for my 4 friends, do it for the countless others out there. These people deserve it! Click here: https://jira.secondlife.com/browse/XSL-17
Thank you!
P.S. This is my 200th post on this blog, marking a bit over 2 years of SL-blogging and almost 3 years of being a SL resident. I was struggling for days what to write for the 200th post. I can think of no better topic than this to mark this milestone.
Update:
Infinity Linden added a comment - 18/Aug/09 02:30 PM
Thank you everyone who brought this issue to our attention, and to all who have shared their opinions in this matter. Linden Lab recognizes that our community is enriched by Second Life's transgender residents. It was never our intention to single out a segment of our community in a negative way. We have removed the offending clause from our disclaimer and offer our sincerest apologies.
The Linden Lab Ecommerce Team
Authors comment: during the discussion, Infinity Linden has identified herself as transgendered.
25 comments:
It seems quite obvious to me that a virtual environment will appeal to many people in who live their ‘real’ existence in a discriminated society. People can find refuge in the safety of their computer screen. It’s also fairly commonly thought that many people in Second Life are in some way a little ‘broken’ by the real world as a whole.
I am always therefore at a loss when someone, something in this digital world takes exception and attacks another. Surely we’re all brought together into this safe environment and surround by others who lead their lives with a bit more freedom in this digital environment.
I agree with you, the statement on XStreet went a stage too far and included a section of society who are already battling misconceptions and certainly shouldn’t have been singled out again in a world that should grab them with open arms and offer a hug.
I don't understand why transgendered people need to be singled out in a disclaimer like that. It's simply not necessary. I agree it goes too far.
Not much to say, thank you for this post. I only saw this thing this morning and was considering what to say myself.
I think I'll link to you instead once I've eaten.
Thank you.
No idea if it was deliberate or a crass and foolish choice words. However since it's a tiny bit of code and it's got an assignee already hopefully it will be fixed soon.
And hopefully it will never happen again. Linden Lab ought to know by now they're home to a real hodge-podge of sexualities, personalities and that amongst others the TG community is well represented here. Checking their words to make sure they don't publish comments like this should be automatic.
/me votes for "crass and foolish" rather than intentional. LL is good, institutionally, at not thinking things through.
As Eloise, I thin that it may be only a case of unfortunate wording; they probably tried to "advice" users about the risk of falling for somebody and later discover their RL gender is different from their SL one.
It is a stupid mistake, but it fits too well the ass-covering police of LL, and the huge news cover that this kind of things bring *shrugs*.
LL bigotry or stupid mistake, the thing is you have written a nice and significative 200th post *smiles*.
I hope that more people blog about this and send a clear message to LL that this sort of discrimination will not be tolerated.
We have an adult warning at our site slapt.me but it reads as follows:
18+ Warning
This web site contains mature content designed for and by adults. There are discussions and images which should not be viewed by those who are not considered adults in their particular geopolitical reality. If you are under the age of maturity, dislike or do not enjoy images, products or topics having to do with 18+ matters or are incapable of separating artistic fantasy from reality, Please leave this site.
This is all LL needs do instead of singling out a section of the community that has to fight already tooth and nail for their rights and I will continue bring this to other peoples attention until LL fix it as their excuse of will give you a response in a couple of days is not acceptable at all in this instance.
It's interesting how the brain often "filters" these messages since they seldom offer any real meaning - we just press OK to get going. It's good someone's taking notice when they discover such glitches.
Vote sent!
You are wonderful, Peter.
It is fixed now (and even apologized for on the JIRA). Nice to see! Hope whoever did it in the first place has gotten some extra clue installed. :)
Thanks Peter, and YaY, for the fix. I think your number 4 is to low. Your at BlackList after all.
Maybe thats only a part of whan it Transgender is to include, exclude males in female looks, Shemales, Hermaphrodite, and all other names.
And after all sex is just a checkbox on the body type. And we all rezz as females until the body is loaded. Given you turned the cloud off :D
The quoted number is the number of people who I count as friends and who actively (via their profile or via conversation with me) shared this fact about themselves. In fact I even forgot someone (sorry again, Sio) in that count. I would not be surprised at all if among my friends or aquaintances would be some more.
The thing is - I do not really CARE. I would be very honored if someone else feels the level of trust to share this information with me, but it does not change a single thing for me. I do not NEED to know, because to me, they are who they are. Only as a token of friendship and trust it is significant, but not in the way how I act and feel about a person.
As for the Blacklist in peculiar and SL in general: I take people at face avlue and take them as what they portrey. I treat everybody with respect until the prove unworthy with it, and I consider someone with a female avatar female, with a male avatar male, and with any other mix of gender, species or anything like that. If you are a guy or a girl in RL is not important to me. Admittedly I am socially more easy with female/mostly-female avatars, but again the RL gender does not matter in that equation. Which is what fascinates me at the Blacklist, that the general attitude is quite relaxed.
I noticed this as well, with no small amount of surprise and shock. I've meant to write about it as well. Thank you for doing so, and inspiring me (and others) to do so as well.
*hugs* I know Peter, just that in that line, trying to count, was way to simple, and yes the admitting is a very great sign of trust. Something you time and time again you show you deserved. I got the same feeling when I got that long notecard form you. I was in tears reading it... and still can be just because you trust me.
I never ask about RL, why because with out that you can see into the person, not mask or expectations to live up to....
I really think something should be done rather than deleting it and apologizing in the JIRA. What about all of those people who were offended but said nothing?
But, of course, asking the person repsonsible to come forward, be accountable, and apologize - that's definitely more than anyone could hope for.
Not unless the CEO of one of the corporations LL is courting right now is openly transgender.
An excellent post Peter. You really are one of the best residents in the metaverse.
/me blushes
You are partial, Ivanova, but thank you nevertheless for making my day.
/me thinks Ivanova is right, Peter is among the best of the best.
One of your best posts, Peter!
I went to vote on the Jira, but it had been resolved, yay!
Most transgendered people have not transitioned gender roles. For them, Second Life provides safe space to experiment and learn, interacting with others as the gender to which they wish they had been born and gaining experience they will need if and when they transition.
Exuberance LaFleur said...
Wonderful post Peter! (((Hugs)))
cool post,, I take all my frends as they are,, but seeing linden do this creeps me out . SL is not RL . PS am not 18 ..but look it in SL
That's freaky, I never noticed that. Good job pointing it out.
Hi Peter,
Thanks so much for pointing that out and it is wonderful to see the lindens followed up on this error quickly.
Yoshi xxo
p.s. don't forget that dance!
Hi Peter,
Thanks so much for pointing that out and it is wonderful to see the lindens followed up on this error quickly.
Yoshi xxo
p.s. don't forget that dance!
I feel great to find a space where different people speak somehow feel part of society even in a virtual context. Surely there will be people who continue to discriminate against these people but the truth is that they are people too, and also be respected by thinking differently. Ojala mature.
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