This blogpost has been waiting 4 months to be written. I never got around to writing it, and for the longest time had not even any idea how to write it. Today, finally, I had time and inspiration to make this important addition to my profile.I partnered with Gina Glimmer in January 2007, and we had 3 wonderful months together, until her RL partner forced her to quit SL. She was eventually allowed back in, and even though we are still very close friends, we were never able to re-establish the partnership bond. I met Skinkie Winkler in summer 2008 and we had a great relationship. After Christmas she offered me official partnership. Three weeks later she dissolved our bond. I still don't understand why and have not had
a chance to speak with her since then.
My longtime friends London Spengler and Nadine Nozaki encouraged me to rethink my positions on friendship, affection, intimacy and love. The process took a while, and was a radical paradigm change for me. But I finally am able to declare my Independence. As of today, May 12 2009, this has been added to my profile:
Relationships - I had two wonderful relationships in SL, and both ended in pain. In January 2009 I therefore decided to not enter any exclusive partnership anymore. I love to flirt, and I love to flirt open ended. This does NOT mean I am reckless with other people's hearts, that I fool around or am an egomaniac. The people I allow close to me are close to my heart, and I protect and adore them. I have a lot of love to give, and the people I decide to share it with get a part of my heart and of my soul.This is me. Take it or leave it!
12 comments:
Good for you! and I'll take it :)
*hugs you tightly* I am glad you are taking care of your heart. You are worth it.
One major problem with written communications such as Second Life chat or instant messages is the lack of ephemeral intonations. Even with sign language it is fairly easy to communicate the "unspoken" signals that make a conversation truly flow and have depth. I feel that many inSL relationships flounder or fail due to the lack of nuances in our communications. The Voice feature, when an etiquette is developed, may help with the nuances and thus help relationships flourish.
Many writers bemoan "the lost art of letter writing," and I agree. Long before e-mail, instant messaging, and the like people composed thoughts, carefully penning them, committing them, recording them indelibly for the recipient and sometimes for posterity. We know much about our ancestors from the collections of letters created when communication was seldom quick or convenient. With the electronic age it is much easier for us to dash off a fleeting thought or quickly dismissing such from another. Many have never developed the intimacy that writing creates and such a lack in the nascent world we call Second Life can easily make relationships shallow, brief, or both. Live not by the Gesture, the pose ball dialog, or the canned commentary of attachments. Rather, express yourself well and you will flourish.
Polyamory Peter, it's the way to go!
Alternatively you can just be called rude names by Quaintly Tuqri, both work for me ;)
You Go Peter! Now just do like me and partner your ALT! LOL! Muah!
@Ciaran: Rude names? What rude names? I'm always all sweetness and light! *puts on halo*
*hugs* And this blogpost saved my yesterday. Thanks for always being a great friend.
What an interesting and poignant post Peter. As you are no doubt aware I'm partnered to Jez in both RL and SL, and I would never jeopardise our RL bond by any indiscretion in world. He has quite rightly told me that he wouldn't stand for that, and his opinion on such a matter is very clear-cut;cheating in RL or SL isn't an option. This stems from a very hurtful RL episode that occurred prior to our getting together, but I completely appreciate his point of view,and besides, I adore him so why would I even look? That said there is nothing wrong with flirtation. Flirtation in it's purest form is innocent, harmless and fun and so long as there is an unwritten understanding that it isn't going to lead to anything then I see no harm in it at all:) Note, flirtation is just that. I'm not talking about snogging an avatar or anything else, in my opinion flirting is just harmless banter.
I'm so sorry you've had partnership issues in SL, Peter- that's such a shame. I didn't realise, but I think you're taking the correct approach now. I've seen how hurtful the aftermath of relationship breakdowns can be in world, just as bad, if not worse in some instances as a real life break-up, so to be perfectly honest I'm glad I don't have that issue!
=^..^=
"The process took a while..."
I hate to be a spoilsport, but the process never ends. We learn and learn, usually by hurting others with our acts or our words; a bit of jealousy, too much glee, even little silly comments like this one :-p.
Said that you are doing pretty well for a newbie, way better than I did, dear Peter *giggles and hugs*.
@Quaintly:
"what on earth are you WEARING?"
"my eyes! my eyes!"
"as usual you don't have your AO on and are going to waddle like a duck :P"
I rest my case!!!!
/me wonders, with a cheeky grin, what the "it" is in "take it or leave it"?
Or did you mean "take me or leave me"?
No, I think he wants us to take something. But what?
And who is that guy in front of you?
/me runs away and hides.
/me gawks, unable to believe what Faerie just said, covers her ears and runs away crying!
;-p
Post a Comment